Marriage is a beautiful phase. But to make it work both the partners must be honest, loving, caring, respecting and most important communicating with each other. Read the story to know why the husband checked her phone and let us know what he should do.
My wife and I have been married for slightly more than three years now. Last Christmas, I found she had been having a long conversation with a coworker of hers, in which they talked about having had sex multiple times and that they couldn’t wait for the next one. The guy said he was going to book a hotel near their office right after Christmas. In this conversation, when he said he was looking forward to seeing my wife, she would reply with things like “I’m looking forward to much more than just seeing you”, etc. You get the idea. Overly flirty and sexual.
When I confronted my wife, she denied the conversation existed. After deleting it, she showed me her phone to prove it didn’t exist. But I had taken a few pictures. She then said it was all virtual and that they never did anything physical. To prove she was right, she messaged her coworker (in front of me) asking if he had booked the hotel, he replied “not yet”. She then asked if he was really expecting them to meet, to which he replied negatively. She promised they would never talk again and I agreed, simply because I love her a lot and wanted to trust her, but in my mind I wasn’t completely sure she had been honest.
For a few weeks, I must admit I checked her phones a few too many times, so she changed her password, which I was fine with because I was probably being too paranoid. This week, I picked her phone up because I needed a code that had been sent to her phone number (I didn’t even need to unlock the screen to get it). To my surprise, under the message with the code there were other messages from the same guy. One of them was an audio, the second one was a shirtless photo of himself in front of a mirror, and the third one said “sweaty” and a few emojis with the tongue.
I confronted her since she had promised they wouldn’t talk ever again and she said he just wanted to show her he’s going to the gym to show progress. But the rest of the times they talk it’s just about work, and that this is just a coincidence. I asked her to show me the rest of their messages but she said she had mistakenly deleted their conversation history.
My wife says she’s going to change this time and that I never really forgave her and that’s why she kept talking to the guy. She says this time she’s really going to stop but I have a hard time believing it. Or even if she does stop, I fear when things don’t go so well between us she’ll do it again. I really love her but can’t keep living like this. Is there any situation in which this can work? What would you do?