Financial stability is necessary in a relationship. Knowing what’s important and what can be avoided is vital since in that way a lot can be saved. In this family, a husband wanted to buy something for him but didn’t have the money. What he did next was not acceptable by his wife. Read the story and help the couple sort the issue.
I’m a nurse and have been working more hours for the past 6 months to be able to save money to fix the ceiling in our house. I’ve saved up to 8,000 in my account and since my husband hasn’t worked since 2020, I’m trying to balance rent and utilities payments.
My husband is a golf enthusiast, and so are his friends. The only difference is that all his friends are well off and they can afford expensive golfing gear and trips. They mentioned wanting to go on a golfing trip next week and invited my husband but he initially refused. Though, he really wanted to go but complained about how his friends bought fancy golfing gear while all he has is old gear.
He asked if I could “lend” him $6,000 dollars so he could buy a set of golfing clubs but I refused because $6,000 for a set of clubs is crazy expensive, especially for someone who doesn’t work. He got upset and accused me of holding his employment over his head when he couldn’t help it.
Anyway, I thought we were over this argument but I had discovered that he had pulled the $6,000 dollars out of my account and purchased the set behind my back. I went home and exploded on him. He swore he’d return the money once he got back from his trip but I told him he had no right to take the money and spend it on a set of clubs while the ceiling needs fixing.
He said the ceiling doesn’t require $6,000 dollars either but the kids room was affected too. I demanded that he return the set or pay me the 6,000 right there and then. He told me I was being unfair to him and that he’s feeling stuck because his friends can afford to buy whatever, while he’s being yelled at for wanting something for himself for once. I told him to get a job and buy himself whatever, he tried to tell me he’ll pay me when he finds a job AFTER he gets back from his trip but I refused.
He kept begging me to let him just go on the trip and “we’ll” figure it out later but I said no. If it wasn’t for something as important as the ceiling, I would’ve maybe waited but he’s saying I’m abusive and controlling of his life.
What advice would you give to her?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: