I (f27) am engaged to my fiancé (m45) and we plan to get married in July. I have two kids with my late husband. My soon to be MIL (who I will refer to as MIL) does not know this full context as I am a private person and am not overly close with her. He passed when I was 23 and I really only discuss his passing once I am incredibly close with someone (I have only spoken to MIL at a handful of holidays and never had a conversation that extended far beyond the basics).
Now to get into this, we recently hosted our first Thanksgiving! I felt very accomplished and was excited to share this moment with my soon to be family. The only issue being that I had totally forgotten the mashed potatoes, which seemed to have MIL in a very pissy mood. Thankfully, my fiancé’s sister offered to go to the store to buy some instant mashed potatoes to which I was very grateful. She asked me to check in on her youngest daughter, who was in an upstairs bedroom with my kids and had been very quiet recently (moms of reddit know this is never a good thing!). I, of course, agree. I go to check on them and find them fully engrossed in Encanto.
Left sitting at the table downstairs were my soon to be MIL, FIL, BIL, fiancé, and most importantly: SIL’s oldest daughter (F15). As I make my way downstairs I do note the silence at the table but don’t think much of it. After the dinner, however, while everyone is leaving, SIL’s oldest daughter pulls me aside and asks to speak to me. I ask her if everything is okay and she explains that while I was gone MIL made a comment something to the note of how she didn’t get why fiancé would get with someone who is already “used-up” and that running around with someone like that would ruin his reputation among men, along with another comment that she said she wasn’t comfortable repeating, she said she wouldn’t have felt right if she hadn’t told me. I thanked her profusely, honestly completely in shock at what I had just heard.
MIL had already left at this point, I am a very confrontational person because I believe it gets drama over with. I called her and asked her if it was true and she got really quiet before admitting that it was. She said something along the lines of, “I am glad you know how everyone feels now, I was getting tired of hiding it.” When I started to cry she replied, and this is a direct quote, “You act like a sl*t you get treated like one.” In a moment of anger I uninvited her from my wedding. My fiancé is very upset and is threatening to leave if I don’t fix this all now. He and our friends are all calling me the Ahole, and many have been ostracizing me. I am open to criticism but I really don’t think I did anything wrong. So, Am I Wrong for uninviting my soon to be MIL from my wedding?
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