Everyone wishes to be acknowledged. We all want to be valued, but what if someone wants to be acknowledged for something they haven’t done yet? This story has a similar problem, read the story and help her out on a scenario she was worried about.
I (F27) have a brother (M26) and two sisters (F30) (F32). My brother got married a year ago to my SIL (F24). Before they got married they only knew each other for a few months, and SIL has yet to acclimate to our family since.
My sisters and I are very close because we all have children and we’re close in age. I was looking forward to celebrating Mother’s Day with them as we do every year. We usually have a big brunch in our family home and spend the day with all of our children. This will be SIL’s first Mother’s Day with us.
Today, my brother sent a message in the family group chat expressing that he would like us to equally celebrate his wife on Mother’s Day because they have been trying to conceive for the last year. I have sympathy for the difficulties of conceiving and thought I would just get her a card, even though I intend on getting my sisters and my mom gifts. I have also had drawn-out periods of trying to conceive and though I would never put my grief onto other people and expect them to act accordingly, I do understand.
A little context on brother and SIL. SIL makes a living on an adult content subscription site and they both live off of it. They live very free lives of partying and festivals. They travel and sleep until 2 PM. All of these things are fine. They should live their lives and enjoy them before they have kids.
However, SIL really hit a chord for me when she responded in the group chat. She said word for word, “please comply with our wishes as I am just as much of a mother as you girls are.” I am a mother of three, two of which I homeschool while working from home with a newborn. Both of my sisters have four kids. This kind of rhetoric is really disturbing, offensive, and disrespectful.
Would I be a Jerk if I completely ignore this request and celebrate my sisters and mother like I initially planned? My sisters want to do the same and are also deeply offended by her clueless comment.
I do NOT look down on my SIL for what she does for work. I wish sex work was something I was capable of, I’d have a lot more money lol. More power to her. I was giving context to their life because it’s not like she’s raising foster children. She lives her life solely for her AS SHE SHOULD. But she is not as much of a mother as I am, I live and breathe my children every day. That’s what Mother’s Day is about.
What do you think about this situation? Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: