I (26F) joined a group of friends I met in grad school. We range anywhere from 23 – 30, and we’re a mix of men and women. I was bullied out of my old friend group so I started hanging out with the current group since February. They have all been friends longer than I have, so I’m like the new addition.
For the last couple years, they do Friendsgiving, which is usually a week or 2 before Thanksgiving, and we all bring a dish/drink to someone’s house. This year a girl, “Lisa”, said she would host since her and her fiance just moved into a big condo. We were all assigned to bring something, but it didn’t have to be Thanksgiving-themed, any food would do (which defeats the purpose of Thanksgiving, but whatever, I’m not the hostess).
Now I’ve always been a picky eater. I don’t have allergies or anything, but I know what I like and I’m not interested in trying new foods. That may offend some people but that’s just who I am. We had a Google Doc for who was bringing what, and I quickly realized I wouldn’t be able to eat anything except bread rolls and apple pie (and I was bringing the pie!). There was a lot of foreign food, since most of the friend group comes from diverse backgrounds, some examples are Lisa is Chinese so she was going to make Chinese BBQ pork and steam a whole fish, another person’s family is Lebanese so they were going to bring hummus, parsley salad, etc.
I googled the foods I didn’t know and none of that sounded appetizing to me, so I texted Lisa and asked her if she could provide something for me to eat so I didn’t starve. She asked me what I was thinking, so I provided her with some options, such as pizza, burgers, spaghetti with meat sauce, etc. She said she would.
So I go to Friendsgiving and everyone starts to help themselves, and Lisa brings me out a pizza. I asked her where my other options were, and she said there are no other options, I said I liked pizza, so she got me a pizza. I felt this was unfair because everyone had a variety to choose from and I was essentially being forced to eat 1 thing.
We got into an argument. I told her when I gave her a list of options, I expected her to have a few different ones for me, like a good hostess would do. She said no, why should she provide a bunch of food (I never said a bunch) for just 1 person. No one stood up for me and a couple people even sided with Lisa, saying I was acting spoiled. I ended up in tears and left early without eating anything. Lisa wouldn’t even give me back the pie I brought, which was unnecessarily mean.
That was a couple weeks ago, and everyone is ignoring me (granted, it’s nearing the end of the semester so we’ve all been busy). I’m starting to feel that there was a miscommunication between Lisa and I, but I wanted to see if anyone would side with me. My friends are aware I only like a few foods, and I feel like I’m being bullied for my tastes. I’m super anxious and upset and can’t focus on my finals, so am I A Jerk?
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