I know it might sound silly, but there has been a major shift in the way I see myself and the way I want the world to see me. I used to put so much pressure on myself to be the “perfect” woman. I turned into a caricature of what I thought a woman should be. I’ve spent 6 years religiously wearing acrylics, curling my hair everyday, staying the perfect shade of blonde, spending thousands of dollars on extensions, make-up, and more. It made me feel pretty & I thought that it made me happy. I used to not be able to leave the house unless I was all done up.
Because of this lockdown and all the closures, the acrylics have grown out and come off. I realize how much I missed my natural nails. They are beautiful. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to wearing acrylics. As I’ve been watching my roots grow out, I’ve decided to embrace my natural hair colour again. I won’t be going back to blonde.
I’ve been experimenting with minimal make-up and I love how it makes me feel. I don’t feel like I’m hiding my face anymore. I don’t feel naked when I walk around with a bare face. I don’t cry when I look in the mirror after a shower anymore.
I know this might sound so insignificant and stupid – but this is huge for me. I have always been obsessed with how I look and how others perceive me. If you asked me just a couple of months ago if I could EVER just love myself for who I am – I would have laughed. It feels so liberating and I am really proud of myself.