Woman Refuses To Do Sister’s Hair For Her Wedding Who Survived Cancer. Family Is Divided On Her Decision.
Having a sister is like having a best friend. Having a sister is arguably the most intense love/hate connection you’ll ever have. However not all have this kind of sisterly love bond. Some do experience a not so good relationship with their sisters. Read the story to know why she refused to do her sister’s hair for her wedding and let us know what are your thoughts on this.
My sister is getting married in a couple of months. She finished cancer treatments recently and her hair has been badly affected by this. She’s very self-conscious of it so she wanted me to be her hair stylist on her wedding day, instead of going to a salon. She approached me about it a month ago and I said no. There have been some very mixed opinions in our family about this so I decided to post about it and see what the consensus would be.
Some bg/reason why I said no: She and I have had our many issues in the past. She lost one of her best friends around the same time I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. She had expected our whole family to go to the funeral but our older brothers stayed home with me while our parents took her to the funeral. She was pissed at our brothers and at me. She said her friend had been the best person and we should have all been there for her. I, personally, did not like her friend. She was mean to me as a kid. She was mean to me up to the day she died. So I wasn’t grieving. I was also not good around people then. My sister told me she wished it had been me who died instead of her best friend, because at least her best friend would have cared.
About a year after that her boyfriend at the time had cheated on her. I had heard the rumors but our relationship was nothing at that point. She realized I must have heard the rumors and got mad at me for not telling her. I told her I hadn’t cared about what was going on in her life, which is true. I reminded her of what she had said to me previously.
We kinda patched things up after not living together for a couple of years. We weren’t close, but that’s to be expected I would imagine.
When our oldest brother got married our SIL asked us both to be bridesmaids and asked if I could do her hair (I’m a hairstylist). She got really jealous of the fact our SIL spent more time with me, and that I was more involved than she was. She ended up mocking me for being so quiet and saying I must be a terrible stylist because everyone knows you go to chat to the stylist as much as to get your hair done, and I can hardly hold a conversation. Our brother was so furious with her that he almost kicked her out of the wedding party. It was then that I sort of detached from her entirely.
So while I understand my sister is vulnerable after having cancer and going through treatment, and I realize that she’s self-conscious and really needing to find someone she feels comfortable with, I do not want to do her hair. I don’t want to spend that time with her. I know what she thinks of me. She might find me the best option because we’re related. But she has treated me badly for things I cannot control and has hurt me in some really big ways. My parents are pushing for me to do it and were horrified I said no, while our brothers are on my side. What are your opinions? What should I do?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: