I am honestly not sure what is going on. Before I start, I am going to assign fake names for privacy. Abby is my daughter’s best friend and Amy is her mom (not their real names). For background, these two girls have been best friends since kindergarten. They have celebrated birthdays, Christmas, and millions of sleepovers. Abby spends so much time at my home I even got my daughter a trundle bed for when she spins the night.
Now to the story, this started last Monday. Amy works the night shift and sometimes her mom can’t watch Abby. Amy asked me to watch Abby Friday night and that she would pick her up Saturday afternoon. I have no problem watching Abby. She is a sweetheart, so I agreed. This is also a regular thing for us. Abby spends at least one Friday of the month at my home.
Well, fast forward to Friday, and there haven’t been any updates to change the sleepover plans. Friday comes and I pick the girls up. We have a normal sleepover day: watching movies, eating snacks, ordering pizza, etc. Well, the girls are in their room, and I am in my room when my ring camera gives me a notification that someone is at my door.
I look at my camera and it is a guy that I don’t recognize. It is 9:15, so not extremely late, but I still didn’t physically answer my door. I responded on my camera asking who he was and what he wanted. The mystery guy told me that he was Amy’s boyfriend and was there to get Abby. These are my issues with that. I don’t know this man, I didn’t know Amy was even dating a guy (especially not serious enough for him to show up unannounced at my home), and when I showed Abby the guy and asked if she knew him, she just said: “That’s my mom’s friend that comes over when I am getting on the bus.” I asked her if she knew his name or anything else and Abby said no.
At this point, I have already texted and called Amy several times to try and ask her, but I am not getting any response. I tell the guy using my camera that Amy isn’t responding to me and that I need her permission before I give him her child. The mystery guy tries to convince me saying that he was supposed to watch Abby at first but something came up. He ended up free now and wanted to get her. I still expressed that without a text, call, or something from Amy I wouldn’t allow Abby to leave my home. Plus, I was told that Abby was supposed to be with her Grandmother before the plans changed to me. The mystery guy got upset and hit my door then left.
I genuinely thought this was the right thing to do. For me, this was a stranger that Abby didn’t know asking to get Abby at 9:00 pm without having any proof Amy told him to. Well, that was the wrong thing to do apparently.
Saturday morning comes, and I am up making breakfast when someone starts banging on my door. I open the door, and Amy comes in cussing, screaming, the whole nine yards. She is accusing me of kidnapping her child, saying she will report me to CPS, and a lot of threats. Essential to Amy, I was supposed to send her daughter with a man that Abby (her daughter) and I didn’t know. According to her, her boyfriend (whom she has been dating for 4 months) should be allowed to randomly come over and get Abby.
I may have reacted poorly because I laughed. By this point, Amy woke up the girls and they were watching her yell while I laughed and got breakfast ready. I questioned her “Why didn’t you text me back anytime last night?”, “You’ve been off work for a while, how did you just now realize that your daughter was still here?”, “Why didn’t you text/call me telling me about the change of plans”, and “How was I supposed to know some guy was coming to get Abby if you told me your mom was supposed to watch her before me?”.
Amy’s responses were basically that she didn’t have to report every guy she fu**ed to me, and I agree she doesn’t. But, if you have a stranger coming to my home, to get your child that is in my care, I deserve to at least know someone is coming. She left after this.
Now, Abby has told my daughter that Amy says they can’t be friends until I apologize. I am torn because part of me wants my daughter to have good friendships, but I honestly don’t understand how I am even close to being wrong. I am still trying to decide if I need to apologize.
How would you handle such a situation? Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: