I (24F) am childfree. My entire family is fully aware of that. My parents always wanted grandchildren, and my sister has already popped out two, so fortunately they never gave me much grief for my choice. In fact, they’ve been as supportive as they could be.
This incident happened months ago, on mother’s day, but the topic has recently come up again.
On mother’s day lunch, my 5 yo niece gave cards to each female member of the family- my sister (her mom), my sil (my brother’s wife), her grandma and me. My card had “To the best ani (that’s what she calls me) ever. Happy mother’s day”
Obviously she didn’t make the card herself, and my sister had a hand in this. I really think this was a jab to the fact that I don’t have children, so I politely refused the card, saying that I’m not your mom and you can give me a card like that on my birthday. She looked a bit upset like she was about to turn on the waterworks, but her mom said something to her and she shut up. I felt a bit bad because it wasn’t my niece’s fault that her mom used a mother’s day card as a weapon against my choices and was about to say something when the food arrived and she quickly cheered up.
My birthday was yesterday, and my niece gave me a card saying “happy birthday ani”. I joked to my sister that this time it looks like a real heartfelt card instead of a backhanded jibe at me.
My sister pretended to look confused and then I reminded her about the mother’s day card incident. She got mad and said “oh yeah, the card you made my daughter cry over. I’m sorry your niece loves you so much that she spent her time making a mother’s day card for you.”
I told her that she wasn’t fooling anyone and there was no need to give me a mother’s day card. It was also sexist to give every woman a mother’s day card, even women who weren’t moms. She told me that her daughter had done the same for all the male relatives on father’s day too, but I think that that’s beside the point as all the men in my family are fathers already. She also said that “mother’s day” also applies to loving aunts. What are your opinions? Did I over react?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: