Woman Asks If She Was Wrong For Refusing To Share Food With Housemate’s 6-Year-Old.
Living with flatmates is difficult since there are various levels of cross-over. Perhaps you share home supplies, or perhaps you count toilet paper squares. Anything that you decide to share, it should be spoken about. Particularly childcare. Is it really necessary to say that?
I have rented an suite in a converted plantation-like house for three years. The house is set up with three apartments (bedroom + bathroom + small living room). Downstairs is a kitchen (with three lockable fridges + locking cabinets labelled with apartment numbers). We share a dining room, guest bathroom, and kitchen.
I have two neighbors: Apartment 1A (Judy and Marc, 40s couple) and Apartment 2B (Cody, 29M). I found out two weeks ago that Cody had gotten full custody of his son, Dean, who is 6M.
Cody knocked on my door to introduce me to Dean. The kid is really nice, but he seems like a lot. The apartments are pretty well sound proofed, but I can hear him running around outside if I open the windows by the yard. I didn’t have a problem with it, Dean seems polite and well behaved.
However, every time I come down to make food, Dean will come into the kitchen and watch me cook. He asks me if he can have some of the food. When I tell him no, he will say, ‘But I am hungry.’ I have told him that he needs to talk to his dad. Dean will go into his apartment and Cody will come out, annoyed, to make him something. Cody has asked me a few times, “Can you just make him a pancake?”
I have told Cody that this makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to feed his kid. I also buy my food with a meal plan in mind and the ingredients are kind of expensive. So I have said, “Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable doing that. You should buy a pancake mix.”
There have been a few times where Dean will knock on my door saying he is bored. I tell him he needs to find his dad and not knock, because I am working. I told him, “Knock only if there is someone hurt or in danger. If you are hurt, knock. But as nice as you are, I am not your mom so please find your Dad.”
This came to a head the other day when my boyfriend came by with pizza and snacks for an early Valentine’s Day. Dean was in the living room watching TV, saw us with pizza and got excited. He got really upset when my boyfriend took it upstairs along with the bag of snacks and soda.
He asked if he could have some or watch the movies with us. I told him, “Kiddo, this is adult time for my boyfriend and me. Ask your dad to order a pizza.” Dean looked like he was going to cry and went back to his apartment.
I got a call from the landlord asking for my side of the story and I explained what had happened. Cory has not spoken to me since that call, other than calling me a snitch. Dean gets picked up in the morning now by his aunt and spends the day with her instead of around the house. I am a woman.
What would you do in her situation? Any advice
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