Getting married is like gambling: you never know if it will work out. You may assume you know the person well and you believe the bond will continue forever. People change, and even if a loved one has vowed to be there for you through thick and thin, there is no assurance that the commitment will be maintained. In this story a cheating ex contacting the woman as her biological child wants to meet her. Read the story and let us know how you would handle the situation.
Many years ago, I was married to a man named Mark. 2 years into the marriage, I found out he was cheating on me and got the other woman pregnant. It was a huge blow because I too was pregnant with his child. I was only 9 weeks pregnant and was determined to abort the child and divorce him. He begged me to reconsider, and insisted I give our relationship a second chance, and so I did, albeit reluctantly.
I had a very unhappy pregnancy and when I was 6 months pregnant, I learned that he never stopped seeing the other woman. He told me that he was torn and that he was in love with both of us. I wasn’t willing to tolerate any of that bullsh%t, so I moved out and filed for divorce. I wanted him to disappear from my life, but being pregnant with his child made things difficult.
I never bonded with the baby, and the baby being his offspring contributed to the negative emotions that I felt. I told him that I didn’t want this baby. So when he got together with the other woman, I gave her the choice to adopt the baby, which she did. With that, I officially signed over my parental rights as soon as the girl turned 6 months old (I left the day she was born). When I left, I told Mark that I didn’t want anything to do with the girl and the other woman was free to be her mother.
I moved to another country and tried to leave that part of my life behind. I met a wonderful man and we got married. He knew all about my past and now we have 3 wonderful kids who are 9, 5 and 2 years old.
Recently, my ex Mark contacted me out of the blue and told me that my biological daughter, who is 14 now, wants to meet me. Apparently, his wife had passed away and before she died, she confessed that she wasn’t her biological mother.
I’m torn. I don’t want to meet this kid. It was very difficult for me to leave that part of my life behind. I was depressed for years. I reminded him that I gave up my parental rights years ago and that I wanted nothing to do with both of them. I planned on telling my kids about their half sibling once they were grown and mentally mature, not right now when they are still so little. I told him to never contact me again and hanged up. What are your opinions? What should I do? Can I even do anything?
What do you think about her decision? Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: