Parenting is both a wonderful and difficult responsibility. It is a lengthy trip that needs bravery, commitment, and patience. Read the story to know what occurred between the mom and her daughter and let us know if you agree with the mom’s decision.
My older daughter moved back from her college dorm at the end of the semester. She has a 16 year old younger sister. They have always had a strained relationship, and I admit I have done a poor job of mediating their conflicts.
After “Alice” left to go to school, I noticed how quickly the atmosphere in our home changed. The air felt lighter. My younger daughter, “Daisy,” was happier and more relaxed. She began smiling more. After a while, I began to realize how much of the tension in our house was due to Alice’s tendency to generate conflict and arguments out of thin air. I love both of my children, but I cannot pretend that they are both nice people. Alice can be sweet and generous at times, but she also seems to enjoy antagonizing people, and her little sister is her most frequent target.
After several weeks with Alice back at home, the lightness and peace of our home is gone. She is antagonizing Daisy on a near-daily basis. Just a few examples: Daisy had several weeks worth of a show recorded on the DVR that she hadn’t watched yet. Alice deleted them because she wanted to “clear some space.” I bought some of Daisy’s favorite cookies. Alice asked Daisy if she could have some of them, and Daisy said yes. Over the course of one day, Alice ate all but one cookie, then she put the practically empty package back in the cabinet and acted as if she had no idea why Daisy was upset.
The last straw was just a few days ago. Daisy had washed a load of her laundry, and didn’t have a chance to put it in the dryer before she went to work. Alice took the wet clothes out of the washing machine so she could do a load of her own. But when she took Daisy’s clothes out, she didn’t put them in the dryer. She dropped them into a basket. When Daisy got back, she found the basket with her wet clothes pushed to the corner of the room. She went ballistic and started screaming. Alice responded with a condescending tone of voice, telling Daisy to “calm down” and “stop overreacting.” Which, of course, made Daisy even angrier.
I tried to get Alice to understand that she was in the wrong, but she refused to acknowledge she did anything wrong. After a lot of back-and-forth, she said, “Hey, life’s not fair sometimes, and the sooner she realizes that, the happier she’ll be.”
I said, “If you really think you know what life is, it’s time for you to get out there and live it. You need to find your own place to stay.”
My ex and my parents say I am overreacting, and that I can’t put my child on the street. I say Alice is an adult, and if she cannot treat her sister and me with basic courtesy and respect, she needs to get her own place to live until school starts and she can move back into her dorm. None of them have offered to take her in, but they expect me to continue to tolerate her disruptive behavior for the rest of the summer. Am i the jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
Watch for more: https://youtu.be/lWiIcwiSN4Y